


Heavy in Your Arms

by sonofawinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Comforting Castiel, First Kiss, Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Songfic, everything in this ship hurts, i got sad writing it, sad!dean, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 04:51:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1141651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofawinchester/pseuds/sonofawinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>songfic to Heavy in your Arms // Florence + The Machine</p><p>The life of a hunter weighs on Dean and Castiel is always there to hold him</p><p> </p><p>i suck at these</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heavy in Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first destiel work & first songfic so pls dont be too harsh  
> I guess pre-season 8 but generally freeform  
> The Leviathan is out of Cas but he hasn’t fallen yet, Bobby is still dead
> 
>  
> 
> hmu devilwearswinchester.tumblr.com

**I was a heavy heart to carry**

Sometimes Dean was consumed by the weight of it all. Sometimes it got too hard to repress all the blood, all the loss, all the pain; everything that had weighed down on his heart over the years. Sometimes Dean recounted the list of his dead friends, allies; Adam, Ash, Bela, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Pam, Ronald, Rufus, Henricksen. His father.

 

 

**My beloved was weighed down**

Cas hated seeing Dean like that, hunched over, head in his hands, or curled up like a child at night when he thought Sam and Cas could not see him. Cas hated not knowing what do, what to say because part of him knew there was nothing to be said, nothing to be done and that Dean was always going to feel that way. What he did know was that he would love Dean through it all, whether the hunter knew it or not.

 

**My arms around his neck, my fingers laced to crown**

When Cas saw Dean like that he never said anything, because what was there to be said? He simply guided Dean’s arms around his neck and cradled him as the hunter fed his fingers through Castiel’s hair. Dean never cried, not even in front of Sam, but when the angel held him so tightly and rubbed away the aches in his muscles; that was when Dean cried. But Castiel never mentioned it, he let Dean weep in his arms.

 

 

**He took me to the river where he slowly let me drown**

Drowning. Dean decided that was what it felt like to stare into the angel’s azure orbs. Dean figured if he was going to die soon, drowning in Castiel’s gorgeous eyes would not be a bad way to go.

 

 

**And is it worth the wait, all this killing time?**

The first press of lips between the two men was slow and cautious like one was afraid of spooking the other. But gradually they each realised there was no point hiding their feelings anymore, no point sparing one another, they needed this, needed each other. Something constant and unwavering, something they could fight for, something they could live for. The feeling of being together outweighed the time spent apart.

 

 

**Are you strong enough to stand, protecting both your heart and mine?**

Sometimes Dean felt bad for Castiel, for being a burden on him. He knew Cas was strong, stronger than most, but he just didn’t know if Cas could be strong enough for both of them. However, Dean did not feel regret, Cas was the best thing to happen to him. No, he felt worry as he did often these days, he worried that, if he weighed Cas down with all his sorrow then Cas, too would find it hard to be happy.

 

**My love has concrete feet, my love’s an iron ball**

Dean could not count the times he resented himself for chaining Castiel to him, to earth. Cas rarely visited Heaven anymore, he insisted it was because he was not needed but Dean knew otherwise. Everybody needed Cas. Dean knew he stayed because he did not want to leave Dean, because he knew what happened when Dean was left alone. Sometimes Cas slipped away while Dean was sleeping, only to reappear the instant Dean awoke sweating and shaking, crying out for his beloved angel. Dean did not know how much the angel despised himself every time he was too late.

 

 

**I love you never felt like any blessing, whispering like it’s a secret, only to condemn the one who hears it**

Every time Dean said it, or whenever Cas said it to him, he felt as if another stone was being added to the chain around his neck as he put Castiel in even more danger of being hunted to get to him. But Dean found he could not be without Cas, they tried that before, he needed someone who needed him. He realised long ago that his brother did not need Dean to protect him, he was big enough to look out for himself, and perhaps he always had been. But Cas needed Dean, and Dean needed Cas and maybe, just maybe that would be enough to get them through, surviving because the other loved, and more importantly, needed them.

 

**He never let me down, when he had me in his arms, my feet never touched the ground**

Cas was always there when Dean needed him to be, always willing to stop what he was doing to come to the aid of his hunter and let Dean lose himself in his embrace for a while. Dean often thought that was one of the things he loved most about Cas, he never let him down. He was so selfless and compassionate, always ready to try hold back the hurt and pretend everything was going to be ok.

 

**Heavy, heavy in your arms**

When everything was over, and Dean came down from the pure ecstasy brought on by Castiel’s body and the angel’s, his angel’s, arms wrapped securely around his torso, he felt the crushing, suffocating weight of it all once again. But as the lips of his heavenly beauty pressed adoringly his forehead, he was thankful and he thought there was a chance they could do this.


End file.
